In the latest episode of the podcast "Create Your Kindspace", host Caroline Laurenson sits down with Gemma Burns, the inspiring founder of Lilibet Coaching and author of Dare to Grow. Gemma's story is one of resilience, growth, and the power of determination. Through reflections of her life, Gemma shares how she navigated personal and professional challenges, ultimately finding her calling in coaching and helping others achieve their own transformations.
Gemma’s journey into the world of HR and coaching is deeply rooted in her early life experiences. Growing up, she faced significant challenges, including the tragic loss of her younger brother to leukaemia when she was just 12 years old. This period was understandably difficult for her family, and it had a profound impact on her educational path.
“I left school with not very many qualifications," Gemma reflects. "Had I had the opportunity to apply myself more or had a calmer home life, it may have turned out differently.”
Despite a lack of formal qualifications, Gemma’s resilience shone through as she entered the working world. Starting as an office junior, she steadily worked her way up, fuelled by a determination to create a better future for herself and her daughters.
Gemma's entry into the HR field began when she befriended an HR manager while working as a sales coordinator at a helicopter company. This relationship sparked her interest in HR, leading her to pursue a CIPD certificate in personnel practice through evening classes while balancing her responsibilities as a young mother.
“It was tough balancing work, studying, and being a mother to a one-year-old," she admits. "But the sheer determination to grab the opportunity with both hands kept me going.”
Her perseverance paid off, and she eventually secured roles that allowed her to grow professionally, culminating in a senior HR management position. Despite facing initial self-doubt, Gemma’s hard work and dedication enabled her to achieve significant milestones, including completing a postgraduate degree in HR.
“I failed the first, I think, two assignments, and I was like, I can't do this. I'm not smart enough. I'm not able to do it. And it was that self-doubt, which I guess in a lot of cases, and I'm sure there's people that are the same, but it's those cases of doubt that you go through that you then find that strength to go, No, you know what? I'm going to do this.”
This experience taught Gemma the importance of perseverance and self-belief, lessons she now imparts to her clients through her coaching practice.
Gemma's professional success paved the way for her to delve into life coaching, leading to the creation of Lilibet Coaching. Her coaching approach is deeply influenced by her own experiences and the understanding that personal growth often requires overcoming significant challenges.
“One thing I’ve learned is that if you want to make a change, it doesn’t have to be overnight,” she explains. “It’s about recognising your achievements, however small, and moving forward step by step.”
Gemma’s coaching style focuses on helping individuals identify barriers in their lives, whether personal or professional, and empowering them to overcome these obstacles. Her insights into imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and the importance of understanding one’s core values resonate deeply with her clients.
The idea for Gemma’s book, Dare to Grow, emerged from her desire to make coaching accessible to a wider audience. The book is designed to be a self-coaching tool, filled with exercises, powerful questions, and motivational insights that readers can apply to their own lives.
“I want everyone to feel a sense of contentment and happiness in their life,” Gemma says. “The book allows people to reflect on their values, set realistic goals, and make meaningful changes at their own pace.”
The interactive nature of the book, combined with practical tools like the Lilibet Matrix for gap analysis, makes it a valuable resource for anyone seeking personal or professional growth. Gemma explains how the book can be used flexibly, allowing readers to focus on the sections most relevant to their current needs.
“A few people have said to me, I've read all the way through it, just to see what's in it, and then gone back to certain parts that are most relevant to them. The content pages is laid out quite straightforward, which allows you to then go, right, is it professional growth that I'm seeking? Is it personal? Is it something that I want insight around getting out of my comfort zone?”
Gemma’s book is structured to be both comprehensive and accessible, providing valuable insights regardless of where a reader might be on their personal growth journey.
Transformational Coaching: Helping Others Find Their Path
Gemma’s coaching practice, Lilibet Coaching, is dedicated to helping individuals navigate their own personal and professional growth journeys. She emphasises the importance of understanding one’s core values and aligning them with their life choices.
“If someone had asked me five years ago what my core values were, I would have gone, eh, em, I'm not sure. If somebody had then asked me appropriate questions to then get me to realise what my core values were at that point, I'm like, oh, what if I just said something about my beliefs or what's important to me, whatever, then you'd be like, well, that's a core value.”
Through her coaching, Gemma helps clients identify these fundamental aspects of their identity, enabling them to make more informed and fulfilling decisions. Her approach is holistic, considering all aspects of a person’s life to understand and overcome the barriers they face.
“There’s a tool that’s called the Wheel of Life. So that is all the different elements of your life. It includes health and wellbeing, your social aspect, your career, personal growth, relationships, and financial. There's so many different elements that make up our lives. So, it's exploring all of those. Maybe not all of them within the workplace, but certainly exploring different areas to identify what the individual's barrier is.”
By using tools like the Wheel of Life, Gemma provides a structured way for clients to assess their current situation and plan their path forward. This method not only helps in professional settings but also in personal contexts, such as improving relationships or overcoming a big life transition.
A significant theme in Gemma’s coaching and writing is the challenge of imposter syndrome. This pervasive issue can undermine confidence and prevent individuals from recognising their true worth and achievements.
“There was an individual that I was coaching that did suffer a bit of what we would call imposter syndrome. Just doubting your abilities regardless of the positive feedback that you're getting and feeling that somehow, you're going to be found out that you're not as good as what people perceive you to be is very common. I've suffered with it myself.”
Gemma’s personal experience with imposter syndrome allows her to connect deeply with her clients who face similar struggles. She emphasises the importance of discipline in combating self-doubt and encourages clients to accept positive feedback and recognise their own achievements.
“What is it that you need to feel… you can accept positive feedback? So, if somebody is saying to you, you're doing a great job, what is it that's stopping you accepting that? And just giving someone the space to think about that question.”
Gemma’s insights extend beyond professional growth to personal struggles, including dealing with grief. She highlights how grief can manifest in various forms, not just through the loss of a loved one, but also through the end of relationships, job loss, or even personal injuries.
“Grief can present in so many ways. It can be the breakdown of a relationship, the loss of a job, down to even an injury. Because with each of these elements, you face the upset, the frustration, the anger. You get to acceptance, and then you can move on from it.”
Recognising and addressing these feelings of grief is crucial for personal growth. Gemma encourages individuals to allow themselves to experience these emotions fully and to seek ways to move forward, no matter how small the steps may be.
“If you're physically being stopped doing something or you're progressing in your job, and then all of a sudden something happens within the company, they're restructuring, your jobs at risk. There is a grief process to go through to get to the acceptance of what it is.”
For Gemma, creating a kind space in her life involves balancing professional responsibilities with personal passions. Exercise and DIY projects are her go-to activities for relieving stress and finding joy. During the COVID-19 pandemic, she found solace in home improvement projects, transforming her living space, and discovering new skills along the way.
“Exercise has always been my way to let off steam, but when my health didn’t allow it, I turned to DIY,” she shares. “It’s incredibly fulfilling to see the tangible results of your efforts.”
Gemma’s story is a powerful reminder that even in the face of adversity, it’s possible to create a fulfilling and meaningful life. Her journey from a challenging childhood to becoming a successful HR professional and coach is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.
As Gemma continues to inspire others through her coaching and writing, she remains committed to helping individuals unlock their potential and achieve their goals.
“Life is too short to stay in a place where you’re not happy,” she advises. “If you’re not content, take steps to change it. Everyone deserves to feel fulfilled and proud of their achievements.”
For those interested in exploring personal growth and overcoming their own barriers, Dare to Grow offers a practical and insightful guide to making lasting changes and embracing a more fulfilling life.
To dive deeper into Gemma’s story and her book, check out these resources:
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