Do you ever have a conversation or spend time with someone and come away feeling like you understand yourself better? That’s how I feel spending time with my next guest, Birgit Itse. She makes me feel like I can write and let go of the belief that I am more of a numbers person. She makes me feel like capturing stories matters and that my story matters. Keep listening as Birgit shares her top tips for memoir writing and her incredible story of how she moved from Estonia to Scotland to pursue her dream of writing.
Timestamps:
00:02:59 Birgit’s journey from Estonia to Scotland
00:09:59 The inspiration behind Birgit’s book “The Alphabet of Life”
00:12:30 Using writing to explore meaningful words
00:19:37 Tips for writing your memoir or life story
00:38:13 The connection between memory and imagination
00:41:46 Being bilingual: challenges and benefits
00:48:42 Unleashing your inner writing genius and building confidence
00:53:29 Birgit’s self-care rituals and taking a pause
Links:
Website: https://birgit-itse.com/
The Alphabet of Life book: https://amzn.to/3sTcy3w
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/birgit-itse/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/birgit.itse/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omataoline/?hl=en%20
X: https://twitter.com/BirgitItse
If you are in the Aberdeen area, Birgit is running a writing workshop on the 12th of Nov 2023 https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/creative-writing-workshop-tickets-746189421647
Transcript:
Caroline: Okay, so we are into our fourth ever episode of the Create Your Kindspace podcast. And I’m on the road today. So I’m actually in the Bridge to Don with the amazing Birgit Itse. And I’m going to start by saying I am always so in awe of people who can craft words and communicate beautifully. Honestly, we’ve actually had a cup of tea and spent loads of the time chatting. I can’t believe that you have been actually a part of my journey for a couple of years now and have always been really supportive. I remember just before lockdown meeting you and I had just started blogging and you helped me to think about how best to do that and you gave me lots of tips and advice. For me, it’s difficult because I would admit that I am more of a numbers person than a words person being an engineer. But you are so inspirational. You have such an amazing creativity. It’s always really fun to see your posts on LinkedIn and see what projects that you’re working on. So to have you today to share some of that is going to be amazing. This is a very long introduction.
This is because I’m so excited. So welcome. And what we’ll maybe do to begin with is get you to share a little bit of your background, how you came to Scotland. So yeah, welcome.
Birgit: Hello, and thanks for inviting me in. We need to start me wiping off my tears. Thank you for that lovely introduction, Caroline. And meeting you definitely was the highlight of that first ever networking event in Business Gateway. So grateful to Business Gateway as well. You’ve introduced me to a wonderful person, which brings us to the story how I came here. I’m originally from Estonia. Now I’m 42 years or level in 4.2, if you want to make it fancy. When I lived in Estonia, where I’m originally from is. By November-third in 2019, I had reached to the point where I had every single reason to be happy in my life. And when I’m talking about every single reason, then I could tick off all the boxes that you would traditionally need to live a happy life. I had a wonderful boyfriend who I thought was my soulmate. I’ve got a great kid, kind-hearted. My family members and friends were well. I had good relationship with them. I was appreciated member of the community I lived in. I had an interesting job with a decent salary, a nice car to drive around, a four-bedroom house with a huge garden. And even more important, most of the mortgage was paid. I had passive incomes, so I could just tick off the boxes, but I wasn’t happy. And I didn’t know why I wasn’t happy. I started, thanks to my best friend who asked me and pointed out that from a lot of years in my life, I had dreamed about writing books and living in Scotland. So she one day when I was crying my heart and I was sobbing and I was just really pitting myself. And she was just slapping me with my dreams that you’ve lived, you’ve talked me for years how you want to go and live in Scotland. You talked me for years how you want to write books, and you’ve taught me for an hour how you do everything to make other people’s dreams come true. When are you going to live your life? When are you going to make your dreams come true? And I was like [sharp intake of breath]…
Caroline: Sometimes that’s what you need, though.
Birgit: Yes. So just all the tears were gone. And I was like, Yeah. She pointed out like, “you’re 38 like, when?” I was like, Yeah, I’m 38. When? I took her advice, contacted a mindset coach, started, first time ever in my life, a personal growth journey. All that mindset work. And eight weeks later, I was in Scotland. I had sold my home. My boyfriend decided not to come with me, and I accepted a choice. I took my son. We had two suitcases, two backpags. I sold my car, left my job, everything. And I came here, and that was the 13th of December 2019. And less than three months later, we were in a lockdown.
Caroline: Oh, my gosh, that is phenomenal. Eight weeks.
Birgit: Eight weeks.
Caroline: Do you know, I think sometimes if you’re going to make a decision like that, you just do it. When I, not as big as that, but I know when I quit my full-time job, it was like that. I felt like I just needed space and I felt like I just needed to see what might happen. I’d never given myself that opportunity. I’d always just followed a set path. And like you were saying I had everything that should make someone happy, but I just felt like I had more to give and more that I could do, but I couldn’t do that because I was just in that monotonous, like every day was the same. I can’t believe that that’s your journey because I think a lot of people, they would be afraid.
Birgit: I was acting so fast that I didn’t have time to be afraid or second-guess. I just took action, just did those things. And later, already being here, I’ve always loved writing. I’ve done many, many jobs in my life. But when I started looking back to my professional journey, then the tasks I always did first were writing-related. I started blogs. I loved writing assessments, projects, funding applications, all sorts of like that. In 13 years, more than 13 years of my life, I’ve been a journalist. I worked in Estonia broadcasting company in a local newspaper where I did live broadcasts as well. I’ve enjoyed writing, I’ve enjoyed stories, interviewing people about stories, just putting their words on paper, seeing the reaction, “Oh, now, I can see just what I’m being thinking”. I was like, Oh, that is so nice. Because for me, it was just very enjoyable. And all those stories in my head that I started writing down. When we moved here and I showed all my notebooks to my son, then I think that was about three years ago, and he saw all my notebooks and the napkins where I had written poems, all the receipts that were filled with ideas. And he was looking at it, And “you think you’re not a writer?” So when a 12-year-old says that you’re a writer, you need to believe that. Because the thing is that I started expressing myself creatively in English after moving here. So I had experimented with English. I obviously spoke English and I had done some translation work, but really expressed myself creatively. That was when I moved here.
Caroline: Yeah. Gosh, this is amazing to hear more about your journey and things. So maybe we can talk more about your books and your writing. One of the big reasons why I wanted to have you on the show is to talk about your book, The Alphabet of Life. I have it here. It’s a wonderful tool for people who want to write more creatively. And it would be great for you to share what inspired you to write this book and maybe tell people a bit more about what’s inside. I actually only recently got it and I’ve been working through it and it’s just amazing.
Birgit: Thank you for your kind words. For me, regarding this book is always very interesting to hear how people perceive that, because when you look at the reviews that are written or the endorsements there, they’re all very different and they’re people from different backgrounds. There was a writer, there was a PR person, there were coaches. So they all perceive it very differently. And at first, I was taken a bit back about it. I said, Have I managed to create something that people might misunderstand? And then I thought, No. Birgit you’ve always thought or just decided that versatility is one of your values, and that is versatile. So I’ll leave the freedom to think what this book is up to you, because it might be a coffee table book. It might be something that you’ve always wanted to take up or start your journaling practice and you just don’t know how to start. It might be something that you’re looking for daily inspiration. So you just open it randomly. It might be something that you want to develop just a writing practice just to get into the habits of writing every day something a little bit. Or there might be words in your life that are bothering you very, very much and you don’t know what to do with them. So it might help you redefine the meanings of those words and turn your weaknesses into strength. Because this has been one of the sources of inspiration. So the way it started was I wrote most of these things in summer 2020 when I was creating my life here in Scotland. And I see words as alphabet in our lives that help us communicate with others. Help us. They are the foundation of life we are creating because words have power. The way we talk about ourselves, and with ourselves, and talk to ourselves makes a whole difference.
Caroline: Absolutely.
Birgit: The way our life unfolds. And I experienced that on myself. So I was creating my life on Scotland, and Scotland was like that white paper, and I was putting words meaningful to me, that time, into those small short stories. Some people called them prose poems. For me, they were just thoughts, important thoughts around that word and you know a bit of playfulness, which I think it’s very much me into that, and those pictures, because we think in pictures, and even the pictures in that book is in alphabetical order. I created a bit of prompts to help you with that writing bit. But you can take that picture and write about what you see in that picture, or you can compare that picture and that little prose poem next to it, and just to find… It can be just a bit of reflective or thinking exercise as well, or as I said, a daily inspiration. I wrote those posts on Facebook in summer 2020.
Caroline: Oh, okay, yeah.
Birgit: We can say that this book was written on Facebook. And then later, I tweaked them a bit, and there’s a writing with every letter in the alphabet. And I created a list of words meaningful for me in that summer 2020, so words that played an important part in creating my life. And I left a space for you so you could add your own words with that letter that are meaningful to you. And to write that book, I actually read the whole dictionary, believe it or not, 1,500 pages, because you can’t remember all the words you know. And people said, Why dictionary? Why didn’t you use internet? And I said, Have you tried to read the whole internet?
Caroline: No, but I guess there’s a visual thing in that when I went through the book, there was words that when I saw them written down, I was drawn to, but I wouldn’t necessarily have been able to think straight out of my head, like, Oh, give me a word beginning with A that is meaningful to you. I think a lot of people would struggle, but having something like this that’s visual is really helpful because it—and it’s interesting what you were saying about this exploratory thing or this way that people interpret it in different ways. I’m finding that the kinds of words that I’m writing down, some of them are places and people’s names and not necessarily maybe what I thought when I got the book. I’m finding that I think it’s going to be a really lovely tool that I can dip in and out of and use as a reflective thing like you were saying, taking certain words that maybe do have a sad memory associated with them and using that in a therapeutic way. So yeah, I think it’s just wonderful and it is probably something that you… do you look back on it now and see that time and feel that it brings back all the memories from that time?
Birgit: Most certainly. And that’s why I think it’s good to have that introduction there as well, what I’ve wrote. I’m very grateful for Jamie Jauncey, writing that forward to it as well, because he’s been the writing coach and he’s been using his words of encouragement and his belief in me in times that I didn’t have that, because being a non-native speaker has been the biggest insecurity of becoming an author. So his belief in me, also my editors, that this is actually my strength because I can come up with surprising combinations has been just absolutely valuable. I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have the confidence to do things without them. I’m super, super grateful for them for helping and supporting me throughout that journey. Jamie even has used the expression that other people have used as well, Birgit you’re like a force of nature. I was like…
Caroline: That is true.
Birgit: I’m thinking, yeah, maybe a rain after a long drought, not like a tornado or something. I don’t want to be compared to destructive forces of nature, but something that is maybe much needed.
Caroline: Yeah, definitely. Because I think people, they can struggle to express their emotions and explore how they feel. This is a great conduit to let some of those things out and feel supported by your words and your inspiration. I’m going to read some stuff because I have some favourite bits. H for happiness. Oh, my gosh, I need to read this. So “hope and happiness keep us going. Sometimes we need hope for happiness. Sometimes happiness increases hope. Both are somehow reflections of what we already have. Happy to have hope.” Honestly, I’ve marked this because I was like, Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It’s so true. Without hope, there is no happiness, is there? We fundamentally, this is how we survive. I’m going to start crying now as well. Oh, my gosh. There are so many beautiful things in this book. This is my favourite page. The image that goes with it is really beautiful as well. I love that there’s images in here that obviously I recognise because I’m from the Northeast as well. Your love for Scotland comes out so strongly as well. There’s lots of really lovely Scottish words that you share. I just love the book. It’s so beautiful as well. Definitely check out.
Birgit: Thank you very much.
Caroline: Before we, before we cry anymore.
Birgit: Maybe, I think I have a box of tissues here.
Caroline: The subtitle for the book is Explore Your Life Through Words. I know one of the other things that you do is you help people to capture their life stories. I think that’s just amazing because there are so many extraordinary people in our lives that we want to be able to capture their wisdom, help them, make sure that they’re able to share that knowledge and leave a bit of a legacy. I know sometimes with these sorts of exercises and capturing someone’s life story, it can be really beneficial if it’s someone who needs to go into a care home or is needing some more support from people outside of the family, because then you can share that with them and they can get a much deeper insight into what someone’s history is, what they’re passionate about. I think it’s a wonderful thing for people to do, but also maybe a bit daunting. With you being here, it would be wonderful for you to share some tips about that writing process, how you maybe work with people to craft these stories. And if someone feels adventurous and wants to have a go themselves, is there any tools and things that would help them in that journey?
Birgit: So it all comes down to, I’m just putting down the first words. I start with the fact that one of the biggest learning curve for me when helping people with the writing was understanding the fact that not every people believes that they can write, because for me, I did take it for granted, that skill that I have. And I even didn’t think that this is something that people might struggle with. So I was very much surprised when I moved here and people started telling me that they don’t know how to start, they don’t think they’re creative enough, they don’t have time to write. And I was like, This is so easy. You’re all creative. You’re writing all those things. How come you don’t know? Firstly, just you can forget about that every single word that you put on a paper or write on your computer screen needs to be published. No, it doesn’t. Take that pressure off of you and just start writing. The reason why 97 % of the books never get finished is because people write and edit at the same time. And when we are writing and editing it at the same time, then different parts of our brain are working. If you can drive a car or you can ride a bicycle, then try to imagine yourself just adding speed and breaking at the same time. And now you’re trying to get to the place where you want to be. Not very effective, isn’t it?
Caroline: Oh, I never thought of it that way because, yeah, they’re complete opposites, yes.
Birgit: They are complete opposites. So the first rule of every writing, it doesn’t matter what you’re writing, whether you’re journaling, you want to write a book, you want to write down your memories, you want to do a social media post, whatever you’re writing, it really does matter. It’s write first, edit later. You can describe it as a brain dump. You can describe it as any dump. Just let it out. Just let it out. Just whatever comes, it can be… There’s a phrase to use as a free writing. So that is that writing where you just write, you keep your pen or your pencil on a paper and you just let it go. And once you let it go, then it’s like a train. The first idea comes that another one follows. But as soon as you start analysing, then you cut it off the train because you’re starting telling, No, this one is not good. This coach is not good. This one is not good. And then you just cut it off the train and they’re not following. So it is the same thing as the technique as you would use in brainstorming. Yes to every single idea. So yes to every single idea that you have in writing, you can edit them out later.
Caroline: And in whatever order they come.
Birgit: Whatever order they come, because you can arrange that order later as well. There are some people who say, Oh, I need to have the structure first, and then I guess, Fair enough. If you want to have the structure first and you feel that it helps you, then let’s create the structure first. What are the chapters? Let’s say you’re putting in a memoir. What are the chapters that you want to include? And then if it helps you keep on track, then just write chapter by chapter. Today, I’m writing this chapter, but it might easily happen that whilst writing this chapter, something else comes up. Then please don’t say to the idea that would fit into the chapter two, but go into that chapter two and add that paragraph or two there.
Caroline: Yeah, rather than parking it.
Birgit: Rather than just putting back on a shelf, No, I’m going to write about it later. No, you won’t.
Caroline: Yeah, and even if you did, it probably wouldn’t have the same feeling to it.
Birgit: Flow.
Caroline: Flow, yes.
Birgit: And the thing with about writing, so people who say that I don’t have time for that. It is about finding and making that time and organising your creativity. Because there are some activities that are good for your creativity, and some that are not really helping you with being creative. For example, some people find it really helpful to go to a cafe and write there, because there are no home chores.
Caroline: I was going to say, washing machine.
Birgit: Exactly. And some people find that they are more creative early mornings after a morning walk or exercising. So then find activities and the time in a day that support your creativity. And then create a list of things that affect your creativity in a negative way. Let’s say if you know that the washing machine and TV is going to interrupt your writing, then just don’t watch TV in the morning when you’re the most creative, or just don’t put a laundry on when you need to write, or if you need peace and quiet, when is the time when there is peace and quiet in your house. If your children are small, then I did something that I never believed. If you had told me six years ago that, Birgit, you’re going to wake up at 5:00 AM to find your peace and quiet, I would say, Yeah, sure. Try that again. Not a chance. But almost four years ago, I started waking up at 5:00 AM to do my studies, to do a bit of my writing, to have my morning cup of coffee in a peace and quiet. And when I had a bit of me time, then I was calmer, I was more relaxed, and I was a better person around to everyone around me.
Caroline: Yeah, I love early mornings. Being up before everyone else is really nice.
Birgit: Yeah. And even if you can, there are books being written 15 minutes a day, even five minutes a day. I know people who are taking their notebooks or laptops when they go and pick up their kids, and when they’re waiting for the kids in the car, they do a bit of writing. I’m not sure it would work for me because I would be annoyed when they jump in a car.
Caroline: When you’re right in the middle of something.
Birgit: And I’m in the middle of something, and I was like. Because I’ve trained my child that when the door is closed… Well, he’s a teenager, so I’ve trained him, When the door is closed and I’m writing, then unless it’s an emergency, then you need to wait. And then I come out and then you can talk to me. Sounds selfish, but the way I understand what’s selfish is that it’s not selfish to do things that you want to do. It’s selfish to force other people to do things that you want to do.
Caroline: Yeah. And I think you alluded to there, when you do carve out your you time, you are then in such a better mindset to show up for everyone else. So it’s not being selfish at all because it helps everybody to have that. But we find it difficult to ask for it.
Birgit: Yeah. And the reason with life stories is that you don’t have to put or publish everything. Again, because you’re writing down a lot, you even don’t have to show them to anyone. And I actually recommend not to before you’ve finished everything that you wanted to write down. A lot of people, and I’ve made the same mistake, is that, Oh, I’ve got my first chapter, do you want to read this? I’ve got an extract from the chapter. And then they start asking questions, Oh, I don’t understand this, and then… And because they don’t know your story, they don’t understand that, and so their questions and hesitations and their feedback only increases your insecurity because you think that, Oh, I haven’t managed to give every single detail that is in my head within that short chapter. You won’t. You need the whole book. You need the whole memoir to tell your whole story. So this is why I recommend not to share it too early because it can sabotage your writing flow. So just do it in your own pace, your own way. And once you’re finished writing down everything you wanted to, then you can start reorganising it. Just reading with your fresh eyes, Oh, that could be here. That could be there. And it’s okay to do that. That is a normal process of doing it, whether it’s a book or something else. It can be a blog post as well. It really doesn’t matter. You just put everything on a paper first, and then you start editing and working on that. If we take a, let’s say, carving wood, I don’t know too much about it, but I would imagine you have block or blocks of wood first. You need to take the tree down or you’ve got pieces of wood that are there. So you need to prep the material or just gather the stuff together. So this is what the first draft is. You just gather everything together and then you start working on this.
Caroline: That’s all great tips, isn’t it? One thing I was wondering was, we were talking a lot about the writing process. Do you think it’s helpful for people even to talk out loud and record their thoughts and then use that as a way of crafting the story? Or even having a conversation like this with someone else?
Birgit: Absolutely. I’d say one of the most famous examples was Abraham Lincoln, when he was preparing a big speech about independence and rights. He invited his friend to come over, and his friend sat down—and I had to sit in a chair and Abraham Lincoln was talking for five hours. Then he said, Thank you. I’ve got my speech now. The friend couldn’t say a word.
Caroline: Oh, I didn’t know that story. Wow.
Birgit: Because some people are more verbal. And I do sometimes this as well. Even yesterday, I was walking outside, and then I had to say, Oh, I could build this workshop like this. I took my phone, there was that voice recorder, and I just recorded my thoughts. So now I’m going to use a software, for example, Otter, to transcribe this, and then I can just start working on that. So there are a lot of ways to record your voice. It sounds weird if you’ve never done it before, but you’ll get used to that quite soon. And other thing is that if you find easier to talk to someone, then just ask them to ask questions. Another thing is when you find it difficult to go back to the situations, look at the photo albums that you have, pictures.
Caroline: Oh, yeah, that’s a great idea.
Birgit: Look at the pictures that you have in your albums. And again, if you need someone to sit next to you so you could share those things, then just ask someone to do that, and you can record that. That would be helpful as well. And I actually recommend doing it because you might take your story and your life experience for granted. This is something that I experienced a lot when doing those writing, especially with people who have more life experience, like post-war times, for example. You have seen this, so you don’t think it’s anything special. But even for people like me in the early ’40s or even younger, they have no clue about it. They have just read it from history books if they have. So that is passing on the knowledge from your era, just keeping different parts of your family connected so your grandchildren would understand you better as well. And as children, we do have that natural curiosity. Tell me the stories when you were a child because they want to feel something that they can relate to.
Caroline: Yeah, or sometimes it’s the whole disbelief of times before the Internet existed.
Birgit: Times before the mobile phones.
Caroline: Like, How did you manage without a phone in your pocket? And then you explain all the stories of, yeah, if you were going to meet someone, you had to meet them because there was no way to let them know.
Birgit: Exactly. And you were home before it went dark because there were no phones and you had to be there. How did you know it’s getting dark? You just learned to look at the signs in the nature. Again, I took for granted my writing skills, my storytelling skills, then we, or even the story how I came here, I never thought it was anything special. And then people start to say, It’s so inspirational. I was like, Oh, really? That’s the reason why we should share and write down our stories, because we don’t know how other people perceive and what they might find valuable, inspirational, encouragement for them that would actually help them.
Caroline: Definitely. I think I heard an expression once that said, Your ordinary is someone else’s extraordinary. Very true. And there is so many amazing things that you take for granted. And then when you tell someone, they’re like, Really? And you’re like, Oh, okay. So that isn’t normal, or, No, that’s not everyone’s experience, or they might see a side of you that they hadn’t realised before, and then it opens up maybe more vulnerable conversations that then build connection. I think this whole process and working with you or using a tool like your book, The Alphabet of Life, can be a great way to have those moments with loved ones and a memoir. I think it’s just a beautiful thing that someone can leave as a legacy to share all their wisdom and knowledge. I think with intergenerational relationships, I think sometimes that’s lost a little bit in today’s society. Younger people, they don’t necessarily get to spend a lot of time with their grandparents. So yes, this is great.
Birgit: Another thing about memoirs is that you don’t need to be retired to write a memoir. There are two types of books that are associated with your personal life. Memoir is, it can be a short period of your life. I helped a Canadian author write a book about how she was going through divorce and had a stroke at the same time. So it was just a short period of her life, one or two years. And she wrote a memoir about that. But the story from the day you were born to the current day, that’s called a biography. So you can be in your 30s. Caroline, you can write a memoir. From a certain period of real life. And if you add the lessons that you’ve learned, then it can become a teaching memoir. So you’re teaching a certain a life skill or a lesson that helps other people. So there are a variety of things that you can do. And another benefit of writing down stories is actually it supports your memory and it supports your imagination. Because memory and imagination are related. They’re like brothers and sisters. So you can develop a future memory as well by using your imagination.
Caroline: Oh, okay. So let’s delve into that a little bit deeper. So your memories and imagination are connected.
Birgit: Yeah.
Caroline: And so what do you mean by a future memory?
Birgit: Future memory is that when you see yourself doing certain things in the future and you go into that fantasy so often that it becomes as strong as a memory.
Caroline: Yes, and then you are more drawn to it. This is making me think of… I really like a book called Playing Big, and it’s by a lady called Tara Mohr. She talks about your inner mentor and going and visiting your inner mentor. Your inner mentor is literally like you in the future. So if you’re having a challenging time, you can go and visit your inner mentor and ask her what would she do in this situation? It’s really empowering because you realize how much you have inside of you and you can more able to realise or get over that challenge than if you retreated into a… Sometimes external factors, it does make it very challenging to carve out the right path, but you’re much more likely to get through that situation by imagining a positive future. So yes. Oh, wow. This is definitely like, yes, really helpful in terms of mindset as well.
Birgit: So when you’re going back in your memory line and you’re thinking all the good things happen in the past, that it should give you the confirmation that you’re able to achieve things, you’re able to do difficult things. Life has been tough, but so have you? Because you’re here. And if you just go forward, you just create like a timeline in your head. So I was there, now I’m going there, and you’re going forward in that memory lane that is actually your imagination. And you’re there, you’re visiting those pictures, seeing yourself doing those things, whatever it is, and you believe as it was true. And yeah, you’re more drawn to that. You’re more likely to make it happen because you believe it’s doable.
Caroline: Yip, Yeah, you see it’s doable, because your brain tells you, because you’ve visualised it and had a really powerful connection.
Birgit: And you’re finding ways how to do that because you focus on that. So you’re finding ways to do that. I always love to just remind myself that if you want something, you find ways to do that. If you really don’t want, you’ll find excuses.
Caroline: That is so true. That is so true. Oh, wow. We’ve gone into a really deep part of the conversation.
Birgit: Should there be a warning for that?
Caroline: No, I think people will find it useful. This is amazing. Yeah, so it would be great to actually talk a bit more about some of the other areas of your work. I know that Scotland is your home now, but you’ve obviously still got very strong connections in Estonia. We’ve been speaking before about some of the work that you’ve been able to do going back to your homeland and the workshops and things. We were also talking before about different cultures and languages, and it’s just so fascinating. I’m not bilingual. I think you have just such a unique take on the world because of that. Maybe you could talk a little bit more about what’s that like to be bilingual? And how does it feel for you now being able to go back to Estonia? Because you said that you didn’t really feel like you were a writer when you were in Estonia and then it was only when you came here.
Birgit: Yeah. Actually, something that my mom said years ago, I think it was about 10 years ago, she already pushed me like, Create your own business. Start offering your services as a writer. I said, Ma, I don’t like that bookkeeping and legislation bits. I’m not into paperwork. So when I came here, first I was applying for jobs and then lockdown happened and the position I got into the interview was put on hold. So I never got the job that I applied for. Then my back was against the wall. I had to do something. And with the help from Business Gateway, I started offering my rating services. So the things that I said no to Estonia, I had to do here. So here I am doing books and the paperwork in English.
Caroline: Yeah, there’s a lot of other things you need to do as an entrepreneur.
Birgit: Life has funny way. So… And when I came here, I said, I don’t want to go to university. Two years later, I was studying at the University of Aberdeen just to find out more about the North East of Scotland. I’ve done a lot of things here that I said no back in Estonia. But being bilingual, well, has pros and cons as everything in life, doesn’t it? I start with the cons because they’re funny. Sometimes I can’t remember anything, like my mind is completely blank, so I know that there’s a word to describe what I just want to say, but I can’t remember that word in neither of the languages. I know that there’s a word for that, but I can’t remember in Estonia or in English. I’m like, Uh… It is hard because I feel stupid. And it’s not like that, it’s not stupid. The same with Canadian friends, she calls them her stroke moments, and I said, These are not stroke moments. People have them all the time, and I do have them all the time. So that is the funny thing. Or finding synonyms, because what happens when you’re not just bilingual, but multilingual, is the languages that you speak, they are active in your brain all the time. So there is constant switching, constant search like, What is the word I’m looking for? The second thing is that you shouldn’t be surprised when we know each other a bit more and I start speaking to you in Estonia because I feel like, Oh, this is my person. So this person belongs to my inner circle. So I just start speaking to them in Estonia. Sometimes I start speaking to people in Estonia in English, just what’s come to me. I feel like I have no control over what comes to me in what language. Especially if I’ve been working in Estonia language, and then there was a phone call in English, then I automatically start speaking in Estonia and I’m like, Yeah, it sounds nice, but I just didn’t understand a word what you said. I was like, Oh, sorry. Kind of like switching that brain? So these are the things that happen.
Caroline: That must be so hard. I can’t begin to appreciate it because I don’t speak another language, but it must be so difficult. I think. I struggle to find the right words sometimes. Oh, wow.
Birgit: I think it’s funny, but the prose is what my writing coach and the editor have said that because I’m bilingual and the way Estonia grammar and the language structure is, gives me an advantage because I can come up with surprising combinations. Some metaphors do work, some don’t. Also being bilingual has helped me redefine some meanings to what’s in Estonia, so just make peace. So as I said, just turn your weaknesses into strength. So it has a lot of benefits as well. And again, just being able to reach wider audiences with that. And I think because I’m here, I have access to groups and communities I wouldn’t if I were to live in Estonia, and I can give back more to people there as well. I’m very much open to give back more here as well, because so far I’ve done a lot of work worldwide. I’ve done quite a number of work with Estonia, including Estonia Chamber of Commerce and Industry. I’ve got customers in Canada and US and in France even, but I would be delighted to do more here. I hope to do more in Aberdeen as well, because Aberdeen has been so welcoming, and I would like to give back what I’ve learned over the years, not just here, but also doing my previous careers in journalism and marketing. And just combined with all that I’ve studied here within that almost four years. So there are some things that are work in progress, but if you hear this and feel that I could help you or your team, then I’d be delighted to. I really would.
Caroline: Yeah, you are so supportive, because like I say, when we first met, you gave me so much good advice and tips and that helped to build my confidence as well. So yeah, it’s just wonderful to get you on the show. Thanks. I’m always really inspired by how confident you are as well. When you’re doing creative things, you do it in a playful way, you’re very creative. I always look at that and think to myself, Oh, my gosh, I could never do that. So how, what advice would you give to someone who maybe is struggling a little bit with their confidence and showing up?
Birgit: When it comes to writing, then another inspiring life lesson that I got, firstly, I still firmly believe that every single person, you as well who you’re listening to this, has an inner writing genius, and you just might need a little bit of help unleashing that. Secondly, grammar and syntax has very little to do with creativity. Yes, we need structure to sometimes support our creativity and challenge and just come up with more creative solutions than we usually would. But it’s not the measurements of your creativity if you can fit into the box. So when I started working with the communities online, then there were people asking that I’m really struggling with writing because I’m dyslexic. It’s not that much of a writer. And after the workshop, the same day in a writing genius, they said, I never thought I could write, but you gave me back my confidence. And when I read what they had written, let’s say some of them who said, I don’t know how to write, I’m dyslexic, they are super creative. I read what they’ve written, I hear what they’re saying, and often I think, Oh, my God, I wish I could say things like that. The way you’re saying is so amusing, is so entertaining, is so unique. Just please keep doing that.
Caroline: Yeah, of course, that’s amazing that you can help people on that journey.
Birgit: Just please keep doing you. I’ve got many, many dyslexic people among my friends, among my customers, and their way of saying things, their way of writing things is very, very admirable. It is very surprising. And since I started working with them, I started to believe what Jamie and Lee told me about my uniqueness.
Caroline: Yeah, it’s a boost to your confidence, too.
Birgit: It has, because being a non-native speaker, not knowing all the rules of grammar and syntax has given me the confidence to be more playful. And the same, just forget for a bit all the grammar.
Caroline: All the rules.
Birgit: All the rules, and just play. Just going back to that, just put everything on paper. Just let everything out what is in you. Because it might be someone’s extraordinary, something that they’ve been looking for. A good friend of mine here, he always manages to put me into a better mood because of the way he says things. And I don’t know if… Sometimes I don’t know if I should be annoyed or just envy him.
Caroline: This is like when I’m fan girling over you.
Birgit: Yeah.
Caroline: Ah, amazing. Yes, so you do quite a lot of workshops and things. I would put a link to Birgit’s website because you put information there. I will definitely be signing up for the next… What did you call it? Writing genius.
Birgit: Unleash your inner writing genius.
Caroline: Yes, that’s what I need.
Birgit: We’re planning to do… I was just speaking to Zara, one of my friends who has a space to do that in her rooms in Castle Gate. Hopefully, the dates will work out. We’re planning to do a few of those in Aberdeen the end of October. So yes, feel free to connect me on my socials. I’m pretty active and sociable.
Caroline: Yeah, following you will bring joy into people’s lives.
Birgit: Oh, thank you.
Caroline: Before we wrap up, the podcast is all about creating your kind space. So all the guests that come on, I like to find out a bit more about the things that you maybe do if you’re feeling a little bit out of balance. I like to ask, what’s your go-to thing? For me, it’s singing and music. Absolutely, it’s the thing that has got me through my whole life. So what is it for you, Birgit?
Birgit: If I feel down and need to uplift myself?
Caroline: Yeah.
Birgit: My time. And that my time is usually my favourite beach, Don Mouth Beach. So I go there. I’ve got my quiet spot there. And I just sit there and be with myself, look at the sea, just notice things around me. And I sometimes stay there for hours. So that kind of time by myself for myself is a necessity in my life. And when I don’t have that, I just get really anxious. To switch off, I go Latin dancing.
Caroline: Oh cool.
Birgit: But I don’t want to go there if I’m not feeling like I want to be around people. And I sometimes do like singing, but yeah, I find that movement and writing down things, sorting out my thoughts is really, really helpful when I need to sort out things, take time to think.
Caroline: Yeah quiet time.
Birgit: Yeah.
Caroline: Do you know, I’m going to finish with a quote because actually this fits in really nice. So for your P, the Alphabet of Life book, I marked this because at the end of the page you say maybe the Path of Pauses is the fastest way to the person you’d like to be. And again, there’s another really beautiful picture. Yeas, so sometimes we just need to pause and take time for ourselves and make space, because you can’t be creative if you’re just running about all the time. Yeah, that’s just beautiful.
Birgit: And everything in nature rests.
Caroline: Yeah, yeah.
Birgit: And nature is perfect.
Caroline: Yeah.
Birgit: So if you like…
Caroline: We go through different seasons.
Birgit: We go through different seasons, days and nights, sunshine, rain, fog, and mist, and snow. So there are a lot of opposites. There’s constant change. And we say nature is perfect.
Caroline: Yes.
Birgit: So if we want to be perfect, let’s be more like nature. Let’s have our opposites. Let’s have time to rest. Let’s have time to sprout, blossom, fall, and winter.
Caroline: Oh, on that note. Oh, my goodness, I’ve just loved this, I am so lucky to have had this time with you, Birgit, so thank you so much.
Birgit: Thanks for having me.
Caroline: And we will catch up soon.
Birgit: I hope we’ll too.
Caroline:
It was such a pleasure to have Birgit share her remarkable life journey and her insightful wisdom around writing and the creative process. The key thing I took away from this is we need to take action on our dreams, even if it feels scary and also how powerful words are at shaping our lives. I hope this has inspired you to get writing. Do reach out to Birgit if you need some support.
As the podcast series continues, I encourage you to get in touch and share your stories and tips, I would love to hear from you! Pop me an email at caroline@tltechsmart.com or message me on social media @createyourkindspace
It would also mean a lot to me if you could rate and review this podcast as it helps other people to discover our content.
