How Siobhan Jaffray Found Her Calling Through Selfcare

For most of us it can be a struggle to make healthy food choices. Juggling work and kids and family can mean that it’s easy to reach for things that don’t best fuel your body. I can’t wait for you to meet my next guest, Siobhan Jaffray, to find out about her personal journey to becoming a certified nutrition coach, as well as all her amazing tips for healthy eating. I also learned a new term, food neutrality. Stay tuned to learn more about this and about how the lockdown period provided an opportunity for Siobhan to pursue her passion.

Timestamps:

00:02:12             From yoyo dieting to qualified coach

00:03:55             Launching a business in lockdown

00:05:56             Journaling for selfcare and positive self-talk

00:10:34             How to practice food neutrality

00:11:43             Top tips for sustainable lifestyle changes

00:19:42             The challenges and rewards of entrepreneurship

00:21:43             Creating a daily Kindspace

00:23:43             Getting out in nature & the fake commute

00:25:03             Supporting local food banks

00:30:08             Start now on the path to better health

Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SJNutrition21

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sj_nutriti0n/?hl=en-gb

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sj_nutrition1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/siobhan-jaffray/

Sign up to Siobhan’s newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/ee4839be482d/sj-nutrition-newsletter-sign-up

90 days to better nutrition journal: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BZF8PPCH?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_5ZDWJ5TPZK98C9RPXF2Y

Transcript:

Caroline: Welcome to the Kindspace podcast. I am so excited and listeners, the reason why I'm really excited is I'm not in my wardrobe and my guest is here with me on my sofa. Hopefully the sound and everything is working okay. Siobhan is with me and I am really excited for you to get to know Siobhan. She's got so much wisdom when it comes to our nutrition and our attitude to our diets and how we approach that. Without any more discussion, I think we'll just get into the conversation. Maybe you could start, Siobhan, by telling everyone a bit more about your background and what you do.

Siobhan: Of course. Yeah. Hi, I'm Siobhan Jaffray. I started nutrition coaching two and a half years ago. Yoyo dieting was something I struggled with for years and years and years. If there was a fad diet, trust me, I've tried it. The weight would come off and then it would go back on and then some. What I started doing was my own reading on it and listening to podcasts, reading blogs, following people on social media and getting the correct information. Then I had friends and family asking me for advice. I always felt a bit unethical giving advice when I wasn't qualified to do so. I was always like, yeah, I'm going to do something with nutrition. It really interests me, but I don't have time, and then it just carried on. Then lockdown happened and then we all had all the time in the world. There wasn't really an excuse. I studied nutrition coaching with the National Academy of Sports Medicine and then I went on to do Lifespan Nutrition with RGU. Two and a half years later, I'm here now.

Caroline: That's amazing. Do you know for me, that lockdown period and when I speak to people, there is quite often a similar story where people, they took the opportunity to re-evaluate what they were doing in their lives and use that time productively. That's super amazing. In terms of that journey and then becoming qualified and things, I guess the next logical step was for you to think about starting your own business and things. Maybe you could talk a little bit about that part of the journey.

Siobhan: Yeah. I was so engrossed in studies that I actually forgot that I was going to do something with this. Then the day of the exam, I had been set and I was thinking, okay, so what happens next? I really had no clue. I reached out to a coach, actually. I studied in private. I didn't tell anyone I was doing it. It was just like my own little thing, my own little secret that I did it. I reached out to somebody I know, Tess Day, who's actually a business coach.

Caroline: Oh, yeah, I know Tess. She's awesome.

Siobhan: She's lovely. I was like, Okay, I've got something to tell you, but you can't tell anyone. This is what's happening. I've been so focused on studies. I actually don't know how to set up a business and I actually have no clue where to start. I always say that Tess helped me get my ducks in a row because I am the queen of procrastination. If something needs done, I will end up doing something stupid like cleaning a drawer out or you know.

Caroline: You find other things, don't you? Your brain is so. I do it, too. Everybody does it.

Siobhan: With Tess, she was asking questions like, what's your company name going to be? What's your company colour is going to be? What are you going to do? Are you going to coach? Where are you going to do it from? And pricing and things like that and just things that she just each week set me tasks and helped with the tasks as well. When I had my checking calls with her, it was like, I've done this. I've done this. Eventually, she helped me pull, she did really help pull the business together because I didn't know where to start.

Caroline: Yeah, well, that's awesome. I think having that kind of support is so important.

Siobhan: Yeah. I think you don't know what you don't know either. You can go into something and there's bits like, I never thought of that. When it's having someone guide you through the whole process, it means that all the boxes are being ticked and you're doing it properly.

Caroline: We've known each other for a while now, but this is actually the first time that we've met in person. I think if I remember rightly, we met online through LinkedIn, and we did have an initial Zoom call probably in 2021, maybe.

Siobhan: Was it as long ago as that?

Caroline: I think it might be that, yeah. It's actually just been really lovely to watch your journey and seeing you grow and progress. I was really excited to see earlier in the year that you’d launched your new journal.

Siobhan: Oh, I know.

Caroline: That was something that I really did want to talk to you about today to find out a bit more about where did that idea come from and the process that you went through to create it. For anyone that's listening, we will pop the links so that you can check it out as well.

Siobhan: I guess journaling, again, it's something I started in lockdown and I'd read up about it and it was something I resisted because I just thought it seemed a bit woo and a bit out there. I was like, well, I'm not doing that. But I was throwing heaps of pitty parties for myself in lockdown. I was like, I can't keep doing this. I did. I just started. When I first started, it was just a few prompts that I followed, just like something you're grateful for, something good that happened yesterday, and something you're looking forward to today, start the day on a high. I've been journaling since lockdown pretty consistently. There was a point last year when I stopped because you know life happens. Then my morning routine took a bit of a nosedive. A couple of weeks later, I was like, I don't feel myself. I'm not as productive. I'm procrastinating more. My mood's a bit lower. I realised it was the journaling and so started again. I guess when clients come to me, there's a pattern when they're starting their journey, not just weight loss or a healthier lifestyle journey, people come at it from a place of self-hate.

You can't hate yourself into a better position. I think with a lot of people, we know what we should be eating, we know we should be having five pieces of fruits and veg a day, eating plenty of protein, staying hydrated. A lot of people don't need someone telling them what to eat, but what they do need is to start practising a bit of self-love, gratitude, and just self-belief in themselves as well that they can do something. Again, this was an idea that I toyed with. Then start of last year, I just set myself a date. I was like, It has to be done by the fourth of April because that would have been my dad's birthday. Because I had a deadline to work to, I got it done. I got it out.

Caroline: That is so amazing. I think that internal work is really important. Actually, when you mentioned that, I marked one of the pages in the book. There's a bit in the book where you talk about affirmations and having these mantras that you say to yourself. In the book, it says, I am worthy of this time to work on myself. That's absolutely what you were just saying. It says, I am my actions. Really, really important that action is key. I love myself and my body and nourish it the best I can. I think that's just beautiful. It's really inspirational. I think we have a similar thing in Kindspace with affirmations and encouraging people to use language and words and talk in a way that's nurturing and supportive and kind of imagine that you're speaking to a best friend rather than having those negative thoughts. It's really hard. I think negativity and worry and stress, life throws at us so many things. It's no wonder that we struggle to see the positive in life. I just think a book like this that gives people that opportunity to every day think about how they're looking after themselves is just really important.

Siobhan: I think as well, we put ourselves down a lot and it could even be something flippant or jokingly like I'm stupid or I never learn anything new or I'm fat. Then when we're repeating these constantly, these become affirmations in themselves, and then that's therefore how you start to treat yourself. You're so right. I always say that if your child or a loved one or a friend came over to you and said, I've got an idea for a school project or I'm wanting to start a new business or I want to get healthier, we would never turn around to them and be like, Well, you failed everything else and you're so stupid and you're too old to learn anything new now. We need to practice that back onto ourselves. We wouldn't speak to someone else like that.

Caroline: Yeah. Being supportive and encouraging. On a similar vein, one of the other things that jumped out to me as I was going through the book and looking at the, you've got weekly challenges, which I think is a great idea. One that's in here, which is really interesting, is practice food neutrality. Here you say that it's really important to not describe food as good and bad or things that are like junk food, like no food is bad. I think that's also a really important concept as well. We shouldn't be beating ourselves up about what we eat.

Siobhan: Yeah. I think food neutrality is something really difficult to get and there's still times where I find myself saying, that was bad, or, I have some junk food tonight, or even using words like cheeky or naughty, like you’re kind of

Caroline: Treats, yeah yeah.

Siobhan: Treats as well. Yeah, it's a difficult one and it's one that won't happen overnight. I won't lie, but it's something I do encourage people and my clients to practise because then the only time food is bad is if it's gone off or if you've stolen it from someone.

Caroline: Yeah, I think that's such a good way to think about it. You share so many tips and advice. Definitely check out Siobhan's social media. I love following it. The post that you did, was it last week? About your new super product. That was just genius. I was so drawn in. I was like, what is it? What is it? Siobhan is describing this new product and how great it is at transporting nutrients to your cells and then it helps you to feel more energized and then it cuts to you filling a glass of water. It's just such a good way to frame it because I think people forget how important something as simple as making sure you're hydrated is. I think you've just got a really good way with how you share your knowledge and it makes it really practical and down to earth and a little bit fun as well. I think it's just awesome. Well, we've got you. It would be so good not to put you on the spot, but what are your top tips? If someone's thinking about making adjustments in their life with their diet, what would you advise?

Siobhan: Firstly, start small. When people start a diet or a healthy lifestyle change, we tend to go from not to 10 and we try and do all in a week. The example I always use is you would never try and learn a new language in a week. You just couldn't. It's impossible. It's not sustainable either if you make the changes so drastically. Just look at making small improvements. If you're having cereal in the morning, adding some berries or adding some bananas, if you're cooking some chilli or something, maybe you're adding some extra beans for some more protein and fibre or adding some extra vegetables. I think another tip I'd like to share is that when we start something a diet, we always look to what we can remove. What can I take out? I can't have crisps, I can't have wine, I can't have chocolate. Instead, reframe that and think what can you add into your diet to improve it? Could you be having an extra portion of fruit or veg? Could you be drinking more water? Could it be that you actually set some time aside to prep some meals? But look at what you can add as opposed to remove from your diet.

Caroline: I love that. That's really good advice because it makes the whole experience more positive.

Siobhan: And if you go in with a restrictive mindset, that's really difficult to upkeep. And we are all children. If you're told not to do something or not to eat something, and it just becomes that thing in your mind that you can't stop thinking about it.

Caroline: I know. It's so true, isn't it? If I say that to even my husband, not just my children, he's like, What do you mean I can't? Of course I can.

Siobhan: When I worked in hotels, the chef would put a plate down and say, hot plate, don't touch. I'd always touch it. He'd be like, why have you done that? Because you told me not to. I'm just checking it's hot.

Caroline: Makes it too tempting. Yes. Oh, yes. That is really good advice. I wonder if reflecting on… I've never yo- yo, dieted, but whenever I have good intentions, what happens when you get to that point, like a week down the line where you're like falling off the wagon, so to speak, where you're like, Oh, well, if I just have this biscuit, that's okay, or if I don't go for my walk today, that's okay. How do you help people to stay motivated?

Siobhan: So motivation isn't finite, so it doesn't last forever. That's why I say start small. Make them habits that you just automatically go to. We brush our teeth. I hope we all brush our teeth every morning. It's something we do without thinking about. When I say start small, really start small, it could be that you start parking your car a little bit further away when you go shopping. That's easy to sustain. Or if you want to hit 10,000 steps a day, but currently you're hitting 2,000 on average, that's a huge jump. Just increase it slowly. Maybe this week you'll do 3,000, and you'll do that for a week or two and then increase up, increase up. If you do these things, it doesn't feel so drastic and it doesn't feel like it's something you stick to. It just becomes your identity. It's just something you do. I'm the person that puts the time aside on a Sunday to prep meals. I'm the person who, when I go out for dinner, make sure that I order a jug of water with the meal so that I'm having water, maybe with my glass of wine because it's all about balance.

Caroline: Yeah, that's really valuable advice. I think it's similar to what James Clear says in Atomic Habits about who do you want to become and that being your identity. You say, I'm the person who gets an early night and doesn't use my phone first thing in the morning. I'm the person that phones my dad every day because that relationship is important to me. It's about your identity. That's really good advice. When it comes to the support and things that you offer, I know you've got a few different programmes and things. It would be useful maybe for people to know. If they did want to work with you, how does that work?

Siobhan: Yeah. I do run group coaching programmes throughout the year. They're not set dates. It really depends on summer holidays and kids' holidays and stuff where I can slot it into. There is group coaching programme, which is a programme that's designed to educate and empower you on your food choices. It's not a drop a dress size or lose a stone in the set amount of time, but it's designed that you learn about nutrition. This is what you need to fuel your body and we work on mindset and how to set goals properly. Then I like to describe myself a bit like a driving instructor. Once you're finished with me, you don't need to come back. I've given you the tools to go off on your own. Then I have one-to-one coaching as well, which is more personalised. We can go through all these topics, but it could be that someone's maybe struggling with overeating at nighttime. At nighttime, I always call them snack incidents. When you open up the biscuits and you're like, I'm only having one, and then before you know it, half the pack's gone and there's no judgment because I have done that. It could be like, okay, so why are you doing that? Is it because you're not fuelling your body properly during the day? Is it because you're bored? Is it become habitual? Is it because you have that restrictive mindset? Different clients will work on different things. It could be that someone wants to enhance their performance in the gym or they're maybe cycling or something. What's the best things I should be eating to fuel my body properly?

Caroline: Gosh, that's all really great advice, isn't it? I think having someone with you to support you and nudge you in the right direction is really useful. Something like the group programme, I imagine there's also that peer support element as well and a little bit of accountability where you feel like I'm showing up for everyone else as well as myself.

Siobhan: I think with coaching as well, I touched on it when I spoke about when I hired a coach, I'll say that I'll do things, but sometimes when it's just you're like, I can do it tomorrow, or I can start again tomorrow. But because I knew I was meeting Tess every week, I'm like, I'm going to have to get this done because there's no way I can show up to our call and be like, I haven't done anything we discussed last week. So yeah, accountability is huge and I need it as well. I know I procrastinate and need somebody there just to gently nudge me in the right direction.

Caroline: Thinking about your business and the journey that you've been on and the work that you do, what would you say are some of the most rewarding elements?

Siobhan: That's a tough question because there's so much I've done. Yeah, that's a tough question.

Caroline: What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Siobhan: I think it's just the pin drop moment when people realise they don't have to exclude whole food groups. When I'm working with clients, they'll get a calorie target and they're like, this is too much. It's too high. I'm like, it's actually not. The calories you were eating before were the calories you would feed a toddler or a child. It's that pin drop moment where they're like, I actually feel really good. Or I had… I was out for a catch-up with a friend and I had cake and there was no guilt after it. People, it's the improvements they make with their relationships and with themselves. I’m not sure if that answers that.

Caroline: You've got a really beautiful opportunity to see that transformation. Yeah. That's so nice. That's so nice. Then on the other side of that coin, I know personally, running a business is not easy. There are a lot of challenges and a lot of days where you're like, Oh, my goodness, how am I going to navigate this latest challenge? Have there been any moments like that or in times when you felt overwhelmed?

Siobhan: Yeah, I would be lying if I didn't say it didn't happen. It's not that it happens all the time, but it does happen. Sometimes you think, Why am I doing this? You've not got someone steady paying your bills every month, but it's so rewarding. Also, the freedom of being self-employed as well. I was able to meet a friend yesterday during the day. It was a really beautiful day. We went out for a walk with a park with our little girl. If I worked for someone, I wouldn't have had that. Obviously, the rewards of actually helping people as well. So it balances out.

Caroline: Yeah. So, you've got a good balance. Good, good. That's so awesome. That leads me on to talking a bit more about Siobhan behind the scenes and the sorts of things of it you maybe like to do to support your own wellbeing. This podcast is all about understanding how people create their own kind spaces. If you are feeling a bit out of balance, what are your go-to things that will always help you feel a bit better and feel a bit more like you're thriving again?

Siobhan: Yeah. I always think prevention is better than cure. I am really quite strict with my morning routine now. I said about the journaling. Journaling is a game-changer. I'm not just saying that. I think if more people journal, the world would be a better place. I get up every morning, I journal, I meditate, and I read. Those are the three things that set me up for the day. That's preventative as opposed to looking for a cure. But burnout does happen because we're all human. I think it's just really listening to your body. When burnout happens, take the time, step back, because we think that everything's going to fall apart. Actually, really, if you just take half a day or a day to yourself and things that I like to do. I love baking. I find baking quite meditative because you're not on your phone, you've got to follow a recipe, you've got to weigh everything out and everything's got to be done to a certain way. Obviously, at the end, you've got this amazing thing that you baked if it's turned out well. So baking definitely. Yoga is something I do every day as well—and hiking and getting out. I've been in fresh air.

Caroline: I like seeing a lot of your social media posts where you've been out for a nice walk with the dog and things. I think because we stay in such a beautiful area, Aberdeenshire literally has so many beautiful places where you can go and get into nature. We're very, very lucky.

Siobhan: Yeah. I think I encourage people as well who work from home, start the day, get outside and walk around the block as if you were walking to work. Get outside and get some fresh air because it's amazing. You just feel yourself losing concentration or just getting a bit sleepy. I think even getting outside for 10 minutes, just get outside for 10 minutes. It's amazing the difference it does. It gives your eyes a rest from the screen as well.

Caroline: Yeah, because I'm guilty of that now with working at home and the kids get picked up by the bus to go to school, so I don't necessarily need to go outside. So yeah, sometimes I can be a bit guilty of just getting straight into work mode. Because actually, when I think about when I did commute before, it was such a nice opportunity to sing in the car.

Siobhan: Oh, I know.

Caroline: That’s what I always used to do, sing in the car or listen to a podcast. You need to make sure you're still making time for those things. That's also very good advice. Very good advice. Before we started recording, we were having a little chat actually about some of the ideas and things that you've been working on. I wanted to know a bit more about what plans that you do have coming up. I know you said about your new website and then we were also talking, actually, about the food banks, local food banks and ways that you can support there.

Siobhan: Yeah. The website should be up and running soon, but definitely, we've seen it all in the news. I attended an online webinar, I think it was a couple of weeks ago and it spoke about how the amount of children go to school hungry. When kids are at school, their brains are still developing, they're learning lots of new things. They're needing adequate nutrients to fuel their brain and just not feel sleepy when they're at school, I guess. Something I'm trying to do is help the food banks and maybe educate people on what to bring to food banks because the food has to be non-perishable, obviously. But there's some food that I think that they get. It's just like would you-.

Caroline: Yeah, we were talking about that.

Siobhan: -would you serve your children that? I know it's lovely that people are doing it, but there's foods that they can be given and can make actual nutritious meals out of.

Caroline: That are appealing and people want to eat rather than feeling like they're eating. We were talking about the tinned mince. I had some tinned mince and I tried to zhuzh it up a bit and I put lots of really nice beans and spices and herbs, but the texture was still just not, yeah was quite sloppy. And I was a bit disappointing and I was like, darn. Because I didn't want the tin to go to waste. But at the same time, I was like, this is not how, we want our food to be enjoyable.

Siobhan: For many of these people, they don't have a choice. It's what they're given. I think, I don't know, going in and maybe making recipe cards for them so that they can post on their websites or their social media platforms like, if these items are given to us, these are the things that we could be making. They could have a nice breakfast of overnight oats. You can use oats, chia seeds, long-life milk, and tinned fruit, and tinned fish, tinned vegetables as well, as opposed to—I don't know what you were saying—I don't know. It's not appealing to me and it's certainly not going to be appealing to other people as well.

Caroline: I think foods that are more in their raw format that then you can do something with that are I think more… They're just more versatile, aren't they? Yeah, the tinned mince was so disappointing. I don't know why I had such high hopes for it.

Siobhan: I think the worst thing I've seen, it wasn't in a foodbank, it was on the supermarket shelf, was tinned all day breakfast.

Caroline: I'm not sure what that would taste like.

Siobhan: I don’t know. I don't know if I want to find out either.

Caroline: No, it's tricky, isn't it? I think for a lot of people, when we're preparing our meals, it's the time that it takes as well. We were talking as well about the energy costs as well, or even not necessarily having the right cooking appliances and utensils and things. It's trying to create menus that are fairly simple and quick, but then also have the right nutrition and are actually appealing. It's not an easy task, but I think could be really valuable for everybody. If you think about, well, the kids have just gone back to school, so busy parents or people that maybe are cooking for a loved one and want to make something that's easy for them to microwave, those sorts of things will be really helpful. Yeah, if you are developing some recipes, I'm sure people would be really interested to see them.

Siobhan: The recipes I share as well, I always say I'm a lazy cook and if there's a shortcut, I will absolutely find it. I think we've got this perception in our head that to eat healthy, we must spend hours slaving away in the kitchen. It's not like that at all. I think our lifestyles have changed so much. Kids do so much now. They need to drop off to various places. Usually, both parents are full-time working. So to be good cooking for hours and hours, it's not always possible.

Caroline: Yeah. And you mentioned briefly before the idea of batch cooking as well. I'm a big fan of that putting things in the freezer that you can just take out when you need them is so time-saving.

Siobhan: It actually does. I think when you think I'm going to batch cook this up, it's going to take so much time. But actually, I've never regret batch cooking anything when the weeks get busy and I know that I've got something in the freezer I can just take out and preheat.

Caroline: I got one of those instant pot pressure cookers and it's got quite a big volume. You can literally make the biggest batch of mince or spaghetti bolognese, or chilli, all these sorts of things and soup as well. It's just really handy.

Siobhan: Slow cookers are really good as well.

Caroline: Yeah, energy saving.

Siobhan: And energy saving too. Absolutely. You just throw everything in, leave it for the day or a few hours, and then you've got a huge amount of food cooked.

Caroline: Yeah. This is all great tips. Thank you so much, Siobhan. I think we're coming towards the end of our chat. Is there any other thoughts or reflections or things that you wanted to share?

Siobhan: Yeah, I think if you are thinking about starting a new healthy lifestyle or a diet or whatever you want to call it, just start. Stop waiting for the perfect time because we do this. We wait until like, well, that's happening this weekend and that's happening next weekend. I'll start three weeks from now. I think the longer we put something off, we never start. Not just healthy living, I guess anything. Just make a start. It doesn't have to be perfect.

Caroline: Yeah, that's great advice. I think there's the whole like, oh, I'll do it on Monday or the first of the month for the new year. Before you know it, you make another excuse. So yeah, the best time to start is now, even if it's not perfect, like you say. Yeah, that's great advice. Finally, where can people find you? Where's the best place to connect?

Siobhan: So where am I? I'm on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and TikTok.

Caroline: Oh, yes, you are. Yes. We will pop the links to that in the notes here so that you guys can check it all out. Siobhan's got loads of really good content with the recipes. Like I said, really nice down to earth advice. I think you'll find her content is quite uplifting. It is just so refreshing. It's been so amazing to have you on the show. I'm really excited that we got to do this in person as well. So thank you for making the time to come out and see me.

Siobhan: Thank you for having me.

Caroline: When I was talking to Siobhan, I feel like I said “that’s really good advice” like a million times, but it’s true, she just has such a down-to-earth and uplifting approach. I think what’s so wonderful about the work that Siobhan does is she sees the real importance of nutrition, that’s it’s not just for physical health but also for mental wellbeing, and I loved her emphasis on the need to approach lifestyle changes from a place of self-love rather than self-hate.
Thank you so much to everyone who has checked out the podcast series so far. I hope you are enjoying meeting my guests as much as I am.